I have a LinkedIn account, but I have never been a huge fan of the platform. I see very little value added from the majority of posts.
As litigators we work in an adversarial system. In court, most times, somebody wins, and somebody loses. Nobody wins all the time— except on LinkedIn.
To paraphrase Alien, “On LinkedIn, no one will hear you lose.” If the goal of your LinkenIn page is to get you hired, get you retained, or get you insurance company business, your new clients are going to be a trifle disappointed when their new addition does not prove invincible for them.
An alternate to the “humblebrag” post is the “banal bromide”. Take this recent entry, “The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion”. And today, the same person posted a meme, merely said “Good Morning”, the text imposed over a picture of a mouse pouring tea into the cup of an apparently grateful cat. The poster has in her tagline that she is a Receptionist/Senior Administrator looking for a full-time career opportunity. This after 5 adjectives describing her admirable qualities.
I have come to believe the chief, if not only, value of LinkedIn posts to remind people that you are still alive. the LinkenIn user previously referred to posts a different “Good Morning (insert day of week)” meme every day, as well as a bromide quote of the day. Today’s is “If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” Included is a picture of a garden to add punch to the text. I am sure the page owner feels this approach gets her name out in everyone’s feed every day, and someday one of those 4000+ connections will remember she is in the market when they are looking for a receptionist and reach out. Not sure how it is working out for her as her posts seem to get zero engagement, as measured by comments, likes etc.
But, as part of this new ButlerADR venture of mine, I’ll give LinkedIn a try to remind folks I am still around. I am stockpiling memes, such as the “eat greens daily” item above. I also have collected such gems (with relevant memes) as “Be Prepared”, “Do a Good Turn Daily” (Boy Scouts), “Tain’t What You Do, It’s the Way That You Do It” (Jimmy Lunceford), and “Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow” (Frank Zappa). And my personal favorite, which sums up my philosophy of life nicely. However, Moses tablets stating, “Be cool, Don’t be an Asshole”, might get censored by the LinkedIn police.
And when those run out, I can use a LinkedIn post generator. This is not a joke. If it is too much of a burden to come up with “Good morning”, or “Humbled and Honored to have won a motion to extend the Scheduling Order to Track 2”, you can get AI to do it for you. This is part of a suite of apps that can be purchased to help enhance your social media presence.
The LinkedIn post generator can be used, within limits, for free. So I decided to give it a go. You insert your accomplishment in the box and then you choose among twelve “tones of voice.” I chose “inspirational” obviously.
I did want to see what the generator did with some questionable accomplishments. It did not disappoint. I could not, not be a hero. For instance:
Given a key to Executive washroom (kind of a flashback to the Madmen age):
“Thrilled to have been given the key to the elusive executive washroom! As I turn the key and enter, I can’t help but reflect on the journey that brought me here. From starting as an intern to now being a part of the leadership team, this key represents the hard work, dedication and growth that has led me to this moment. It’s a reminder that with perseverance and a passion for continuous learning, anything is possible! So here’s to unlocking new opportunities and continuously striving for success. #keytothewashroom #careerprogression #nevergiveup #inspiration #leadership”
The hashtags were included with the post, as well as 3 stickers/emojis, which I have removed-extremely juvenile.
And speaking of juvenile, I didn’t stop. Next:
Had an over policy limits verdict entered against my client at trial:
“Life is full of unexpected challenges, but it’s how we handle them that truly defines us. Recently, I faced an uphill battle in a case where my client was hit with an over policy limits verdict at trial. It was a tough blow, but we refused to back down. We poured our hearts and souls into the appeal process and ultimately, justice was served. The verdict was overturned, and my client received the compensation they deserved. This experience reminded me of the power of perseverance and never giving up on what you believe in. So let’s all remember to stay strong and determined, no matter what obstacles come our way. Together, we can overcome anything. #nevergiveup #justiceprevails #lawyersoflinkedin”
I didn’t tell the generator that I appealed and overturned the verdict. And, when you have an excess verdict against you, your client is the defendant. Your client does not get compensation. The other fellow wants compensation from your client. #neveradmitanerror.
Let me end with this one:
Practiced Law without a license:
“Success is not always measured by titles and credentials, but by the impact we make with our skills and determination. I’m proud to say that I have practiced law without a license. No, I’m not suggesting to break any rules, but I want to share my journey of pursuing my passion for law despite not having the traditional qualifications.
I started my career as a paralegal, and while I was grateful for the opportunity, I knew deep down that I wanted to be a lawyer. However, life circumstances didn’t allow me to go to law school. But that didn’t stop me. I took online courses, read books, attended seminars, and even volunteered at legal aid clinics to gain knowledge and experience.
I won’t lie; it was a challenging journey. I faced criticism and doubt from others, but I never let it discourage me. I had a fire within me that kept me going, and I knew that one day, my hard work and determination would pay off. And it did.
I am now a successful lawyer, and my clients are often amazed when I tell them about my unconventional path. But what matters the most is that I am living my dream and making a positive impact in the legal world.
I’m proud to say that I have practiced law without a license! Yike. Thank you AI. I think Judgment Day, will need to be postponed for a while.
I (insert heart emoji) LinkedIn. Be sure to look for my upcoming posts. I’m still alive, hire me, and never forget the words of the immortal Buckaroo Banzai, “No matter where you go, there you are.”
